3 Myths of Private Messaging That You Should Avoid

Have you been bombarded lately by private mail messages within your favorite social media sites from people wanting to "soft sell" you? Have you been cornered by your loose associations of "Friends", "Connections", or "Followers"? I know that I have...on many occasions, so I felt it was time to clear the air and dispel some of the most destructive myths about the use of private messaging in the social media universe.

If your goal is to NEVER work with someone or get them to NOT engage with what you are suggesting, then disregard the rest of this post, because you obviously don't have the time or the savvy to use social media in the way it was designed.
Before I get into my list of No-No's, let me explain two simple facts:
FACT ONE: Social Media is about INVITATION, not SOLICITATION

• I have seen a positive increase in the understanding of this concept over the last year or so, but I do still see traditional marketers peek there heads in who try to use social media to mass solicit.  Word to the Wise:  If you want to mass solicit, waste YOUR time and YOUR money on direct mail and stop annoying the rest of us.
• Even while most people are grasping this elemental step in social media marketing, most do not understand that you can STILL solicit within social media, even if you are connected to someone.  This brings me to my second fact...

FACT TWO:  Just because you are "Friends" or a "Connection" or "Follow" someone within the social media space, it does not mean that they have opted in to your private message marketing (Or any marketing for that matter).

• This is where the true problem lies.  A lot of people believe that just because you are connected to someone on social media it means that you can pitch, market, solicit, and spam those connections and, because you are connected, "It's OK".  It's NOT OK!
• If I am connected to you... then post on my wall OR even better, post on YOUR OWN WALL.  If I really care about your message (relevant content to me) then it will show up in my news feed and I will respond to your posting.  If not, then your message and content was not for me.  A very simple concept, and the traditional marketing mindsets HATE this.  Why?  Because they no longer have control over their audience and the message...or so they think.
• It is because they view marketing as a CLUB that needs to beat people into submission.  They will get a handful of takers, but these days people want to be more participatory in the process, and if you don't allow that to happen, you could be in for an ugly mess.

So, here are my Top 3 Myths of Private Messaging That You Should Avoid:

• Don't ever assume that because you are "Friends", "Connections" or "Followers" with someone, that they WANT to receive a business pitching private message from you.

This seems to me to be a no-brainer, but... I WAS WRONG!  I might be connected to you, but if we have not gone through the client relational curve to land in the direct engagement phase of a business relationship, we can't expect to push into the conversion of sale stage.  A lot of people try to jump from initial exposure and branding (example: a connection within social media) to instant conversion of sale.  Because humans are relational beings this "short cut" method that many try to employ will NEVER work long term.  You will always be looking for that "next" conversion, and never for the next relationship.  Business relationships are much more fruitful than business transactions, but unfortunately, a lot of novice business owners gravitate towards the short cut and ultimately "cut off" their referral networks in the process.

• Whether you like it or not, sending unsolicited private messages within social media sites IS considered to be SPAM.

This even applies to Wall Posts, Feed Updates, and other forms of content dissemination. Don't get lured into thinking that you have a blank check when it comes to social media sites and you can blast whatever you want to your "connections".  

Those that marks unsolicited stuff as SPAM (I include myself in that list) are essentially notifying the powers that be that your content and delivery method are suspect.  If you get enough of these "dings" against you, social media sites WILL (not maybe) either limit your posting capabilities OR ban you from their networks all together.

Now that may sound extreme, but I would rather that happen than the more subtle alternative... EVERYONE IGNORES YOU.  Behavior like this makes you trivial. Your message will be marginalized and the intent of your posts will be disregarded and forgotten.  At least with a banning or posting restriction, the violator would be put on notice so they can change their behavior.

Moral of the story... If you have not hit the engagement stage with a social media contact, don't try to engage them with your business message yet!  If you want more info on the client relational curve, click here to learn more.

• Just because YOU love your job, your content, or you message, does not mean that others will.

Funny how this works.  We get so wrapped up in our product, service, whatever, that we lose sight of what our target market wants.  A true target market is going to be drawn to you and your offering.  This goes back to number one...If you are using social media for business marketing, then why would you connect yourself with people that are NOT in your target markets or can lead you to your target markets?  And no, everyone is not a potential client.  I don't care what field or industry your are in, everyone doesn't want your product or even need your product.  It is all about perception and personal world view.  You need to find those that have a similar world view as you and your business, and "target" them.  When you do this, you are able to escalate up the client relational curve with ease because you are speaking their language.

To wrap this up... you need to be strategic with your postings and especially your private messages within social media.  Take me for example... I teach social media strategies.  Why in the world would I want to receive a private message from a professional organizer with whom I have barely any engagement equity?  The answer is that I don't want to receive that message.  Not because I hate organizers, not at all, but because I am the wrong target market for that organizer.  This organizer failed to do their due diligence and find out to whom they where communicating.  They just crafted a business pitching private message and let it fly.  This kind of behavior is not only careless and reckless, but detrimental to this organizer's brand, reputation, and eventually their bottom line.

So, don't allow yourself to be a "spray and pray" marketer.  You will only hit innocent bystanders with your buck shot and the social media community will shun you and your business.  Don't be THAT marketer!

For more social media tips, tricks and online training visit: www.socialmediasuperiority.com